Brit Brit Mysteriously Hides the Tit Tit

Because we are mindless drones who listen to every bit of promotional advice in the month of December (The Ped Egg is the perfect gift for everyone on our list? OK! Sold! Send us 18!), we are totally jazzed for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. We will be at the theater Christmas Day, listening to "The Little Drummer Boy" for the last time in eleven months, excited to see Brad Pitt without that damn mustache. And it will be ever so curious.

But today there are other matters at hand. Namely, The Curious Case of Britney Spears's Absent Tit Button. Can someone please explain to us how in the name of Dick Van Patten we are not looking at Britney's nipple right now? That's three-quarters of a boob right there.

And there might be a pale shadow of areola sticking out, but that's it. Did Jayden clean suck those things right off? Is she like the boobal equivalent of Kyle XY or Karolina Kurkova?

Britney 'not fit' for probate trial

Troubled pop star Britney Spears is not yet fit to participate in court proceedings in her power-of-attorney case, her lawyer told a superior court commissioner.

Samuel Ingham, Spears' court-appointed lawyer, and lawyers for her father and conservator, James Spears, spent 90 minutes in Los Angeles commissioner Reva Goetz's chambers.

Mr Ingham told the court afterwards that Spears' medical condition was "fluid" because her treatment was changing.

Spears' probate case is due to go to trial on July 31, but Mr Ingham said it could be "harmful" for her to participate.

Ms Goetz agreed and said Spears' diagnosis was not complete.

The 26-year-old singer and her estate have been under the conservatorship of her father for four months.

Sexy Star Pamela Anderson to charm the Germans

The former "Baywatch"-Star and "Playboy"-Bunny Pamela Anderson (also famous for her sex tape with Tommy Lee - an idea copied by Paris Hilton and her "1 night in Paris" video) will charm the Germans in a TV-show mostly known as a place for folkloristic groups and traditional singers.

But Pammy wil not act as a celebrity but as the assistent of the dutch magician Hans Klok. The two have already worked together during his shows in Las Vegas.

But Europe will soon now, how sexy Pamela Anderson still is and that the current photos of her are no fake (like the one’s from Britney Spears). Recently the actress made headlines when she married the former Paris Hilton-boyfriend and porn video producer Rick Salomon and split up within weeks.

Britney Spears dumped Adnan Ghalib after discovering texts from his estranged wife

Britney Spears has dumped British paparazzo boyfriend Adnan Ghalib, according to U.S reports.

The fallen pop princess gave the Brummie snapper the boot after discovering texts on his phone from his estranged wife.

“She flipped out. He assured her he hadn’t been responding, but she didn’t care. She threw his phone outside,” an insider told Life & Style magazine.

When Adnan, 35, confronted her, Spears reportedly ’slapped him on his chest and screamed for him to get out.’

Adnan fired back that Spears was ‘crazy’, at which point the troubled singer ’spat’ on him, the magazine claims.

Since the big fight, which happened on February 27, Adnan has been spotted in L.A with his ‘friend’, the model Amanda Pagel.

But that has not stopped Ghalib from trying to reunite with Spears. “Adnan has been calling her and trying to make up. Britney is just not speaking to him,” the insider told the magazine.

Spears has also notified the security team at the gates of her home in Century City, California, to keep Adnan away.

“She was definitely using Adnan for sex and isn’t looking for another guy,” the insider added. “She’s okay with him being gone for now. Lynne and Jamie admit that Adnan probably isn’t gone for good. He’ll almost certainly be back.”

Britney Spears' Vagina To Write Its Own Monologue

Britney Spears, the snot-nosed Princess of Pop, has revealed her plans to enter into the world of literary excellence by contributing to the Vagina Monologues - with a piece written by her very own vagina.

Spears, unable to write herself, has had her vagina produce the monologue independently and 'in its spare time', so that her busy schedule of court appearances and drug rehab visits is not compromised.

Indeed, the Spears' vagina is thought to be interested in developing a solo career, possibly in literature, but more probably in modelling, having been photographed many times in the past when its owner, dressed in the shortest of skirts, emerged from parked cars.

No details of the monologue are known as yet, but it's bound to be a hit.

Literist or clitorist, it seems that the future is extremely bright for Miss Spears' vagina, which is more than can be said for Britney herself.

Hot New Star Jenny Bigtits mimics Britney Spears & Vanessa Hudgens-Flashes Breasts and Vagina in Porn Debut

Budding "actress" Jenny Bigtits stopped traffic in Covent gardens today by stripping off to promote her debut movie as a hot new U.K pornstar.

Sadly things didn't quite go to plan as she slipped her bra off Jenny's huge sausage like assets acted as "sleeping policeman" and rolled into the road causing traffic chaos as cars swerved to avoid her massive mammaries.

One motorist described swerving around what he thought were "two rolls of crumpled carpet lying in the road."

Another remarked," I thought a milk float had crashed at first, there was just a tidal wave of gold top with this catamaran sailing on it. I was told later that this was a bra."

Police were called to calm the angry crowds and managed to divert Jenny's medusa-like reptilian stare with mirrors, avoiding an all out 28 days later scene.

They also managed to prevent Jenny from removing her Cirque de Celebrite size panties by hooking them to nearby cranes, before the RSPCA was called to remove Jenny by helicopter with a special hoist used for releasing cows from mud.

Jenny was last seen wobbling away over the rooftops shouting, "a chopper, a great big chopper.. at last!"

Eye-witness carina-eta said with a smile, "I think Jenny will be earning me a few points very shortly, watch it and weep, sister."

Spears' sock goes for more than $1,000

A white sock left with tyre marks after Britney Spears accidentally ran over a photographer's foot is going for more than $1,000 (€694) on eBay.

The item was left on the pavement after Spears, 25, drove over the photographer's foot as she left a medical centre in Los Angeles.

Now it is attracting big bucks from memorabilia-obsessed fans.

The cash raised by the TMZ.com photographer will go towards the Children's Defence Fund.

Man 'filmed himself having sex' with Britney Spears

A ONE-NIGHT holiday fling for Britney Spears is set to emerge as the latest celebrity sex tape.

The man who made the tape told US media he recorded it without the star's knowledge, but had not decided whether to make it public.

The unnamed 28-year-old told In Touch Weekly the only thing holding him back from releasing the video was the disappointment in his own performance and that he was too embarrassed to share it with the world.

"It was just normal sex, we didn't do anything crazy," he said.

"It was a little disappointing. It lasted for about 25 minutes and then we passed out."

The man said he was living on Hawaii's Big Island when Spears visited there in June.

He claims he left his camera rolling as they hooked up in a bungalow at the Four Seasons hotel on the Kona-Kohala Coast on June 7.

He reportedly met the troubled mother-of-two in the hotel bar at 1am and they partied together in her room.

Spears temporarily hands over custody of her sons to her ex-husband Kevin Federline today amid drug allegations.

It has emerged that her first reaction after this week's court order was to make a trip to the tanning salon.

Family and friends told London's Daily Mail they feared it would drive her to suicide, but close friend Sam Lufti said Spears was "in a good mood and very optimistic" that she would get her sons back.

50 Cent defends Britney against Kanye

Rapper 50 Cent has hit back at Kanye West for criticising Britney Spears' lacklustre performance at the MTV Video Music Awards, insisting the hip-hop star should not take out his anger on the troubled singer.

West recently slammed MTV's decision to let Spears open Sunday's awards ceremony ahead of himself, claiming the Toxic hitmaker was "not ready" to make her pop comeback.

But 50 Cent believes West is just jealous of all the attention Spears has been receiving.


He tells American DJ Ryan Seacrest: "(West) was upset, he's not used to being recognised. Period.

"Kanye expressed that he felt that Britney shouldn't be actually opening the show - almost like he forgot that Britney Spears sold 50 million records. She did.

"He is not thinking about her full body of work. She deserved to headline the show better than anybody else that was on it - even in the state that she is in."

Britney Spears Topless Pool Pictures

I guess homeboy was telling the truth. Here are the not-so-shocking topless pool pictures of Britney Spears and her back-up dancer. These pictures were taken at 2am in the morning on a day that Britney’s boys were getting dropped off with her at noon. I guess you could add this to Kevin Federline’s list of “unnecessary risks” that she puts her kids in, huh?

Britney Spears' Las Vegas Paparazzi Attack

Venture Advocate Law Corporation - the lawyer's representing a paparazzi member who was allegedly attacked by Britney Spears and her bodyguard - have released the following statement:

Britney Spears and Her Bodyguards Responsible For the Vicious and Unprovoked Attack on Two Photographers.

Las Vegas, Nevada - On July 26th, 2007 at approximately 11:30 am. photographers Andrew D eel z and Kyle Henders on were taking pictures at a safe distance of approximately 30-50 feet of Britney Spears as she was exiting the Spa of the Wynn Hotel Las Vegas accompanied by two bodyguards. When Kyle Henderson attempted to get closer for a better picture, he was slammed into an adjacent wall by Julio Camera, one of the two bodyguards. Mr. Camera proceeded to squeeze Mr. Henderson against the wall until Wynn security intervened and requested Mr. Henderson to leave the hotel.

While Mr. Henderson was being escorted out of the hotel, he was joined by Mr. Deetz, who had until then remained approximately 50 feet away from Ms, Spears and her group. When Mr. Henderson and Mr. Deetz were no less than 30 paces from Ms Spears and her group and walking away in the opposite direction, Mr. Camera suddenly and without any provocation ran up to Mr. Deetz in a rage and attacked him from behind. Mr. Camera proceeded to throw Mr. Deetz on the wound and began brutally beating Mr. Deetz. Throughout the vicious attack, Mt Deetz remained helpless on the floor of the hotel receiving a barrage of punches and kicks to the head and body until Wynn security finally was able to pull Mr. Camera off of him. The injuries received by Mr. Deetz were extensive and included multiple bruises to his face and head as well as injuries to his back, neck, and other parts of his body.

Immediately after the attack, Ms. Spears ran towards Mr. Henderson and attempted to physically attack him but was stopped by Wynn security, While Ms. Spears was being restrained by Wynn security, she threw a baby bottle at Mr Henderson. Ms. Spears then turned to Mr. Deetz and, in front of hotel guests and other bystanders, began to yell repeatedly at the top of her voice to Mt Deetz, "I am going to kill you! I am going to flicking kill you!" Ms. Spears also shouted that Mr. Deetz should get a restraining order against her because she was going to kill him and if she wasn't able to kill him she would hire someone that would.

Britney Spears to Sing and Dance Live on Cindy Lauper Tour

Britney Spears is set to "surprise" fans with a one-off appearance on Cyndi Lauper's True Colors tour when it stops in Los Angeles on Saturday. The singer will perform one song at the Greek Theatre gig, which will also feature Lauper, Erasure, Debbie Harry, The Dresden Dolls and The MisShapes with Jeffree Star.

Spears will take to the stage with two female background dancers, her choreographer Misha Gabriel tells website www.People.com. She last appeared live in May, when she lip-synched her way though a series of brief 15 minute concerts at the House of Blues.

Britney Spears 2007: Personal struggles and career activities:

In January, Spears lost her aunt Sandra Bridges Covington, with whom she was very close, after a long battle with breast cancer. On February 16, 2007, Spears entered an off-shore drug rehabilitation facility in Antigua. She stayed, however, for less than twenty-four hours. . . The following night, Spears went to a haircutting studio in Tarzana, California and subsequently shaved her own hair off with clippers. A few days later, on February 20, 2007, Spears admitted herself to a treatment facility in Malibu, California.

A statement by her manager read, "We ask that the media respect her privacy as well as those of her family and friends at this time." She left the facility briefly but returned on February 22, 2007. The previous day Kevin Federline had requested an emergency hearing regarding the custody of his children with Spears but his attorney announced that his client asked to cancel the court appearance. No further explanation was given. Spears left rehab on March 20 according to her manager who said she was released after "successfully completing their program". Spears has been recording a new album with producers Sean Garrett and Jonathan Rotem among others.

During May 2007, Spears produced a mini-tour for the House of Blues which included 4 live performances across California locations, San Diego, Anaheim, Los Angeles, and one in Las Vegas. Those in attendance reported that she did not actually perform the songs live in the 15 minute show, but danced and lip-synched to recorded accompaniment of 5 previous hit songs. On May 19, Britney performed the House of Blues concert in Orlando, Florida as part of her "comeback plan" under the name of The M and M's. Even though she suffered brief audio problems while performing Do Somethin', where her vocals began skipping, Spears went on with the show as planned. On May 20, Spears did another show in Miami at club Mansion.

On June 22nd 2007, Spears' representative Leslie Sloane announced that plans for her fifth studio album have been put back until 2008, due to Britney taking a hiatus, however many industry insiders believe that Jive just don't know how to market the album and fear that her career may already be over and beyond repair.

Britney Spears having trouble selling Malibu mansion

Britney Spears appears to have gotten her life back together since she left rehab, but she may be having trouble letting part of her old one go, as reports surfaced this week that the singer has had to slash a million dollars of the asking price of her Malibu mansion. TMZ reports that the 9,200 square foot Serra Retreat mansion, one that comes with seven bedrooms and a recording studio, was going for $13.5 million originally but that the price has been slashed to just under $12 million. The website reports that the listing appears on Coldwell Banker's website but without a mention of Spears and that there have been no offers on the mansion, even with the reduced pricetag.

In other BritBrit news of the day, Star Magazine reports that the singer, who had recently been playing nice with estranged husband Kevin Federline, lashed out and told him that he was "the biggest mistake she ever made." Of course, in typical double-edged Britney Spears fashion, the comment came as a part of a last-minute open door to save their marriage. Britney Spears and Kevin Federline finalized their divorce last week and Star reports that a source tells them, "Britney said, 'Do you really want to do this?' and Kevin said yes. Britney replied, 'You're the biggest mistake I've ever made, but thank you for my babies.'"

Star Magazine implies in the same story that Kevin Federline led Britney Spears to believe that they would get back together if she went to and completed rehab, which may be why we heard so many rumors to that end while Britney was at Promises. Perhaps it was just something to help Britney Spears get through what she needed to get her act together. Monsters and Critics reports that Kevin Federline will get $13 million in the divorce settlement with Britney Spears. According to a prenup, K-Fed was only supposed to get $500,000 for the marriage, but Britney upped that number to a million in the settlement last week. Federline will also get half of the proceeds from the mansion, should it ever sell, and $25,000 a month in child support for Sean Preston and Jayden James until they're eighteen. Federline will also get custody of the kids four days a week.

One more piece of Britney Spears news - Life and Style Weekly magazine reports that Britney Spears and singer Howie Day fell for each other at Promises in Malibu. A source tells the magazine, "Britney has fallen hard for him. Britney just lights up and seems back to her old self when she talks to Howie or tells people about him. She thinks he's very talented - and says he's the best kisser ever!"

Someone claims to have already gotten momma Spears' opinion on the whole thing with a source telling Life and Style that Lynne Spears isn't happy about her daughter's new fling - "Lynne wants Britney to be with someone outside the music industry. Howie is always on the road and exposed to influences that are discouraged in rehab."

Holy Molar!!! Britney Back at Hospital

Britney Spears has gone back to the hospital.

TMZ has confirmed Spears went to Century City Hospital this afternoon. As we reported, last Sunday she went to the same hospital after experiencing significant pain in one of her molars.

Larry Rudolph, Spears' manager, tells That Other Blog that today's visit was tooth-related.

The same tooth that sent Spears to the hospital Sunday hasn't gotten any better.

Spears' SUV has just left the hospital and is headed back to her home.