Heidi Klum's Breasts: Hear Them Now and Believe Them Later

Naming body parts is a practice generally reserved for post-fraternity types and Sex and the City obsessives, guffawing and high-fiving over "Corporal Frank n' Beans", or tittering behind a manicured hand about "the girls". So it comes as a bit of a surprise that Heidi Klum is a practitioner. She recently shared the following tale about her boobs:

"They've been an ongoing joke for, like, 12 years. It started because I was from Germany, and people always make fun of ze Germans, yah? So when I began modeling, I used to say, 'These are German breasts, one is called Hans and one is called Franz.' "

"Pump you up" jokes aside, Heidi might want to consider updating her boob names. Unless she's sticking with a theme and calls her butt "Stuart Smalley" and her genitals "The Church Lady".